Looking Back the Past Years (part 4)

Our family move in town from a village for grandfather re-marriage and second year birth a son--myuncle.Step-grandmother didn't like live with us: too many kids ,she thought to get grandfather salary for her new family.Before grandfather often bought lard ,a little sugar,or a litter snack to us,even we had a cold,he went out for getting medicine.it would cost him some money.the family start to separate for step-grandmother coming.

Mum did some odd jobs in town .Father got a job accounting Staff in timber mill .The salary was low in during the planned economy years.everyone wanted to buy meat ,sugar,rice,flour,lard,match,cloth,all of them need tickets of government's.So father and mum frequently went to hill to chop wood and took brothers together.Father always got some fat meat of pig from a friend of leather worker's then took it back to fried .At night the kitchen was full of nice taste--lard taste! every morning mum would mixed it into hot rice , adding up a little of black soy.Another dish was pickled vegetables.(it were made of mustard leaf .every winter mum would do many it and put into salt water vat. It would cut down family's expenditures )It was a best foods for kids that time.

In autumn,sometimes Father must stay in timber mill to vigil ,thieves frequently stolen wood from timber mill.The timber mill factory manager called for employee to vigil at night. Father always took me to here.At night we need wake up many times to look around wood filed.I listened voice of frogs,dogs ....Father cooked noodles to eat when we came back.The sky was darkness while I looked at my father's face :full of love and responsibility to family in poor light.

In fact parents always quarreled for money because the total income was low as well many things need money to do with .This time real life had to give way to actuality.----kids coundn't go to school,partents would accept it and same time no more energy pay attention of want of kids. complicated society environment .They feel tired , numb,passive .......them choosing silence , smoking, drinking a few cheap rice wine to release pressure .He like football but never play it .So many of the time We have to choose to go away and Compromise under Life pressure ,for we think it maybe let ourselves feeling better.Confrontation need courage and family support each other. In the end many of us gave up our dream ! Until one day it always appears in dream ! Once let it fly out your life,You never get ture happy.Life is a process ,we compete with wisdom ,patience,willpower and past yourself in life. No matter who......

In spring father sent some woods to a Pencil Factory of Nanjing's.He told me he would come back in 15days.So that I were waiting for him in that days coming.I rushed out classroom for I knew today he would come back and would bought many pencils to me.I ran quick....... "dad ,dad...."only saw mum cooked foods no saw my father......Every day I did it same .No telephone ,No fax and dad didn't sent even one telegram to family . Let me wait him 7days everyday I as that rush out classroom and run crazy in street.Waiting for someone is a happy thing in life.........In the end father took many pencils to me,especially another one was scarf with seven style color. Up to now I still remember it and more and more clearly in memory.

Father had whiskers ,about 2~3days he shaved off his beard standing in front of mirror,for he was thin and high (174cm)and mum or kids were dwarf .We had put the mirror at low place .He have to bending his body to do it.I liked looking to do it and very curious ,for last day I saw father shaved off pig hairs and the pig skins were cooked by mum...........

PS: The girl in picture is my landlord's daughter and the scarf is mine.now we live in one flat together.she looks like me in my childhood with black skin and friendly ,actively.